I'm going to jail i love you
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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