Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
