Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
