I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
honey bunches of taint.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
