he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
As shirtless as possible
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
