she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
