i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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