she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize