It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
