Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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