"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
