all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
