We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
