Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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