I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Panties = found
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
