I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
