What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
