Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Randomize
