my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
