This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
