he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
