Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
