the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
