I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
