i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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