i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
