She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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