Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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