This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize