smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
