All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just come out here and I will go home with you...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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