Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
