Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Damn victory sex feels great
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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