He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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