I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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