I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize