i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize