yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How does one acquire holy water?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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