i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
