She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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