VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
it glows. i had to have it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
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I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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