That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
