i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
