we're blogging at a bar
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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