I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
