I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fuck appropriateness.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
