wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
