Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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