she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
