I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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