by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
