NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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