There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
