just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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