Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
