hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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