forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
