so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
