somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
