Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my being single is dangerous.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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