Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.