Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet