problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.