Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
