actually, I'm a sock model
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm like, not good at living.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
