you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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