do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
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They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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